Survival of the fittest

by project grudge

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released June 10, 2016

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project grudge Malmö, Sweden

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Track Name: To fit in
I bet you thought i was long gone
I bet you thought i was dead
I bet you thought i was a big bum
I bet you still think i am

I'll never say shit to make you love me
Never do anything to please
You'll never see me begging for nothing
You'll never find me on my knees

I think you've noticed i'm a big boy
I think you know i look good
I know you hope i've got a big toy
I always knew that i would

I'll never say shit to make you love me
Never do anything to please
You'll never see me begging for nothing
You'll never find me on my knees

I'm gonna jump to conclusions
I'm gonna put on a show
I wants every single motherfucker in the whole wide world to know
That i can't be bought with anything
I can't be bought with anything
I can't be bought with anything
Anything you can afford

I'll never say shit to make you love me
Never do anything to please
You'll never see me begging for nothing
You'll never find me on my knees
Begging for nothing
You'll never find me on my knees
Track Name: Feels good to be sick
Could it be something chemical
This flickering of thoughts?
Is it going to be this way now 'til i close it down?

You are going to be mine
I will make you learn
In this severed head of mine
My illness burns

And there's only one abuse here
It's just going i reverse
All the shit you've been feeding me
I'm throwing it up right fucking now

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I could be your new god
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I could be your new god

And the weight has been sickening
I've been ready to disappear
Haven't felt in a long time what you expect from me

I was always so let down by this useless pile of flesh
One dip and then turn around
Never had a doubt what i was going to be

Feels good to be sick again
Feels good to be sick
Feels good to be

You are going to be mine
I will make you learn
In this severed head of mine
My illness burns

And the weight has been sickening
I've been ready to disappear
Haven't felt in a long time what you expect from me

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I could be your new god
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I could be your new god
Track Name: Something for the pain
I pass like a virus
Unreckognized in your veins
I crawl like a maggot
In your muscle in your brains
We go so well together
We're going to get so far
We're going to love each other
We know, we know we are

In a shithole galaxy
In a land of missed abortions
You wanna take me down, you wanna take me down
You wanna take me down, you wanna take me down
You wanna take me down, this shit went straight in to

Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain
Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain
Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain
Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain

Is it cancer, is it disease?
Could it be parasites moving in here?
Is it crawling in my face? Is it crawling in my face?
Does it show?

Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain
Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain
Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain
Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain
Track Name: Don't wanna go
I wasn't bent so easily
It took some work and time
Couldn't stand to see blood before
Had to get used to mine
And now i hate myself, for ever wanting to be like you
And now i hate myself, for letting you tell me what is true

Every fucker with their own advice
More drugs, more money, more books i should read
I just need a good *
I just need to think straight
I just need this and that. I don't need anything

I wanna be free
From what you gave to me
I wanna see what lies underneath

The stage is the last place where i feel i can belong

It's a world made of fucking liars
I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go
For the sake of the sick and tired
I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go
Down in that pit inside
I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go
Sold out to serial suicide
I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go
I fit right in

It's a world made of fucking liars
I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go
For the sake of the sick and tired
I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go
Down in that pit inside
I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go
Sold out to serial suicide
I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go
I fit right in
Fuck you
Track Name: Everyone is with me
I come like an unwelcome headache
And stay 'til i've hurt you bad enough
I fill the hole that you sleep in
With shit that i left behind

There's no escape
There's no way out now
I know you better than you know yourself
I know you're halfway there

Everyone is with me
Nobody wishes me any harm
Everything is bright and clean and sunny
Everything is going to be okay
Or so they say

But what about all these feelings i'm hiding now?
What about these dirty thoughts i've been having?
What about this constant wish for anything else?
What about the scars i could show you?
Are they all gone
Are they all gone now, will they ever go away
Are they all gone now, will they ever go away
Are they all gone now?

Everyone is with me
Nobody wishes me any harm
Everything is bright and clean and sunny
Everything is going to be okay
Or so they say

Everyone is with me
Nobody wishes me any harm
Everything is bright and clean and sunny
Everything is going to be okay
Everyone is with me
Nobody wishes me any harm
Everything is bright and clean and sunny
Everything is going to be okay
Or so they say
Track Name: Dead head
Give me a kiss and set me on my way
Away from myself
Away from all that was me
Away from me

I had nothing, now i have less
I'm waiting for these drugs to kick in
Dead
Head
I feel much better now when i've killed myself

First time i got out of it easily
Three weeks and the sun kept shining on me

I'm waiting for these drugs to kick in
Dead
Head

Two times worse, heaven was lost
I dug my grave in the concrete
Three times as bad, hell was ahead
I fucked the devil in the ass that time

I had nothing, now i have less
I'm waiting for these drugs to kick in
Dead
Head
I feel much better now when i've killed myself
Track Name: Beyond repair
I think i killed something beautiful
I might have done it in your name
I think i've done something horrible
I'm not sure that i am still the same
I wanna make something beautiful
I wanna build you something nice out of flesh
I wanna do something horrible
I wanna fuck you up beyond repair

It's a long way back to where i came from
It's a road i don't really wanna take
Full of feelings i would never want to have again
So much deeper than anything you'd fake

I wanted to be
Anyone but me
You left me destroyed
Insecure and weak
Beyond repair
Beyond repair
Track Name: From the inside
There's something growing in me
I'm sure it has to be something really dirty
There's something beating me up from the inside
There's someone laughing, that just be you

The colors hit so much harder these days
The blue, the green, the abscence of light
The blue, the green, the abscence of light

The stage is my church
God is distortion
You are my sisters
You are all my brothers

And now there's nothing i can't do
There's nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing
Nothing i can't do
Track Name: We need a witness here
I've been kicking up the dirt for as long as i can remember
Always on the move, to hide what i really am
Throwing out the siemen, handing out the shame
Looking in the crowd for someone, anyone that knows my name

Hey
We need a witness here
Someone to take our side
The truth is crystal clear

Halfway in to anything everything just comes undone
Introvert conspiracy broke down this soul
And down we go now honeys, make this final fucker count
And down we go now honeys, make this final fucker count

Hey
We need a witness here
Someone to take our side
The truth is crystal clear

We throw it back
Follow the stench right up to your face
Another one in the sack
Another head goes out of place
When we have one, we take the next
So we move on
Until it breaks

Hey
We need a witness here
Someone to take our side
The truth is crystal clear

Too long ago to make it all right again
I'm sure you broke something
That's why i shake now
And all my hate for you
Tears me up as it turns on me
Is it too late to take control?

Hey
We need a witness here
Someone to take our side
The truth is crystal clear

Hey
We need a witness here
Someone to take our side
The truth is crystal clear
Track Name: In for it
Licking up what's been thrown away
Thought i'd be somebody someday
So sure that it would all work out
Never knew that i would be some kind of freak
And i cry
I cry

There's gotta be a change now
There's gotta be something else for me out there for me to get
There's gotta be a change soon
Something that comes over me if i deserve it or not
There's gotta be something more
There's gotta be something i can dig up in this world
There's gotta be a whole lot more
No more on cruise control

Running away as fast as i can
Legs got tied or got stuck in the sand
I'm in a scary place
Only thing i think about is keeping a straight face
How steep is the step?
How deep does it go?
What am i going ti find down here?
Do i even want to know?

In for it all the way
Can't afford to listen to what they have to say
I'm in for it all the way
One chance only now to make it okay

And everything i gave
You turned it around and helped them keep me as a slave
Everything i wanted to do i missed out because of you
And to this day
Your words are in where they don't belong
And still today
Every night's a fight between you and me

In for it all the way
Can't afford to listen to what they have to say
I'm in for it all the way
One chance only now to make it okay