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Survival of the fittest

by project grudge

supported by
P1r
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Jason Nichols
Jason Nichols thumbnail
/
1.
To fit in 03:29
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I bet you thought i was long gone I bet you thought i was dead I bet you thought i was a big bum I bet you still think i am I'll never say shit to make you love me Never do anything to please You'll never see me begging for nothing You'll never find me on my knees I think you've noticed i'm a big boy I think you know i look good I know you hope i've got a big toy I always knew that i would I'll never say shit to make you love me Never do anything to please You'll never see me begging for nothing You'll never find me on my knees I'm gonna jump to conclusions I'm gonna put on a show I wants every single motherfucker in the whole wide world to know That i can't be bought with anything I can't be bought with anything I can't be bought with anything Anything you can afford I'll never say shit to make you love me Never do anything to please You'll never see me begging for nothing You'll never find me on my knees Begging for nothing You'll never find me on my knees
2.
Feels good to be sick 04:07
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Could it be something chemical This flickering of thoughts? Is it going to be this way now 'til i close it down? You are going to be mine I will make you learn In this severed head of mine My illness burns And there's only one abuse here It's just going i reverse All the shit you've been feeding me I'm throwing it up right fucking now Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I could be your new god Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I could be your new god And the weight has been sickening I've been ready to disappear Haven't felt in a long time what you expect from me I was always so let down by this useless pile of flesh One dip and then turn around Never had a doubt what i was going to be Feels good to be sick again Feels good to be sick Feels good to be You are going to be mine I will make you learn In this severed head of mine My illness burns And the weight has been sickening I've been ready to disappear Haven't felt in a long time what you expect from me Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I could be your new god Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I could be your new god
3.
Something for the pain 03:06
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I pass like a virus Unreckognized in your veins I crawl like a maggot In your muscle in your brains We go so well together We're going to get so far We're going to love each other We know, we know we are In a shithole galaxy In a land of missed abortions You wanna take me down, you wanna take me down You wanna take me down, you wanna take me down You wanna take me down, this shit went straight in to Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain Is it cancer, is it disease? Could it be parasites moving in here? Is it crawling in my face? Is it crawling in my face? Does it show? Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain Pain, the pain, give me something for the pain
4.
Don't wanna go 03:47
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I wasn't bent so easily It took some work and time Couldn't stand to see blood before Had to get used to mine And now i hate myself, for ever wanting to be like you And now i hate myself, for letting you tell me what is true Every fucker with their own advice More drugs, more money, more books i should read I just need a good * I just need to think straight I just need this and that. I don't need anything I wanna be free From what you gave to me I wanna see what lies underneath The stage is the last place where i feel i can belong It's a world made of fucking liars I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go For the sake of the sick and tired I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go Down in that pit inside I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go Sold out to serial suicide I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go I fit right in It's a world made of fucking liars I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go For the sake of the sick and tired I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go Down in that pit inside I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go Sold out to serial suicide I don't wanna go, i don't wanna go I fit right in Fuck you
5.
Everyone is with me 04:06
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I come like an unwelcome headache And stay 'til i've hurt you bad enough I fill the hole that you sleep in With shit that i left behind There's no escape There's no way out now I know you better than you know yourself I know you're halfway there Everyone is with me Nobody wishes me any harm Everything is bright and clean and sunny Everything is going to be okay Or so they say But what about all these feelings i'm hiding now? What about these dirty thoughts i've been having? What about this constant wish for anything else? What about the scars i could show you? Are they all gone Are they all gone now, will they ever go away Are they all gone now, will they ever go away Are they all gone now? Everyone is with me Nobody wishes me any harm Everything is bright and clean and sunny Everything is going to be okay Or so they say Everyone is with me Nobody wishes me any harm Everything is bright and clean and sunny Everything is going to be okay Everyone is with me Nobody wishes me any harm Everything is bright and clean and sunny Everything is going to be okay Or so they say
6.
Dead head 04:00
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Give me a kiss and set me on my way Away from myself Away from all that was me Away from me I had nothing, now i have less I'm waiting for these drugs to kick in Dead Head I feel much better now when i've killed myself First time i got out of it easily Three weeks and the sun kept shining on me I'm waiting for these drugs to kick in Dead Head Two times worse, heaven was lost I dug my grave in the concrete Three times as bad, hell was ahead I fucked the devil in the ass that time I had nothing, now i have less I'm waiting for these drugs to kick in Dead Head I feel much better now when i've killed myself
7.
Beyond repair 03:52
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I think i killed something beautiful I might have done it in your name I think i've done something horrible I'm not sure that i am still the same I wanna make something beautiful I wanna build you something nice out of flesh I wanna do something horrible I wanna fuck you up beyond repair It's a long way back to where i came from It's a road i don't really wanna take Full of feelings i would never want to have again So much deeper than anything you'd fake I wanted to be Anyone but me You left me destroyed Insecure and weak Beyond repair Beyond repair
8.
From the inside 03:42
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There's something growing in me I'm sure it has to be something really dirty There's something beating me up from the inside There's someone laughing, that just be you The colors hit so much harder these days The blue, the green, the abscence of light The blue, the green, the abscence of light The stage is my church God is distortion You are my sisters You are all my brothers And now there's nothing i can't do There's nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing Nothing i can't do
9.
We need a witness here 04:05
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I've been kicking up the dirt for as long as i can remember Always on the move, to hide what i really am Throwing out the siemen, handing out the shame Looking in the crowd for someone, anyone that knows my name Hey We need a witness here Someone to take our side The truth is crystal clear Halfway in to anything everything just comes undone Introvert conspiracy broke down this soul And down we go now honeys, make this final fucker count And down we go now honeys, make this final fucker count Hey We need a witness here Someone to take our side The truth is crystal clear We throw it back Follow the stench right up to your face Another one in the sack Another head goes out of place When we have one, we take the next So we move on Until it breaks Hey We need a witness here Someone to take our side The truth is crystal clear Too long ago to make it all right again I'm sure you broke something That's why i shake now And all my hate for you Tears me up as it turns on me Is it too late to take control? Hey We need a witness here Someone to take our side The truth is crystal clear Hey We need a witness here Someone to take our side The truth is crystal clear
10.
In for it 04:37
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Licking up what's been thrown away Thought i'd be somebody someday So sure that it would all work out Never knew that i would be some kind of freak And i cry I cry There's gotta be a change now There's gotta be something else for me out there for me to get There's gotta be a change soon Something that comes over me if i deserve it or not There's gotta be something more There's gotta be something i can dig up in this world There's gotta be a whole lot more No more on cruise control Running away as fast as i can Legs got tied or got stuck in the sand I'm in a scary place Only thing i think about is keeping a straight face How steep is the step? How deep does it go? What am i going ti find down here? Do i even want to know? In for it all the way Can't afford to listen to what they have to say I'm in for it all the way One chance only now to make it okay And everything i gave You turned it around and helped them keep me as a slave Everything i wanted to do i missed out because of you And to this day Your words are in where they don't belong And still today Every night's a fight between you and me In for it all the way Can't afford to listen to what they have to say I'm in for it all the way One chance only now to make it okay

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released June 10, 2016

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project grudge Malmö, Sweden

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